Rhyminal Crimes

I
There is one Deboleena
Who grows with each day meaner;
She harks ’em eels,
Turns them to meals
And hopes no one has seen her.

II
There is a girl called Shreya
Of whom the folks that pray are
Damn afraid;
Not one man said
Exactly what fears they are.

III
If you think it’s easy to throw muck
At the quite unassuming Somak,
He’ll beat you to pulp,
Swallow you in a gulp
And you’ll end up in his angry stomach.

IV
One day the imp called Arnab
Transformed into a doorknob,
And all day long
Was wrung and wrung
And left a very sore knob.

V
That cheeky chap called Atin
Would often go out floatin’
Outside his head,
Before him spread
The notebook that he wrote in.

VI
The world perished while Sayan
Looked for a couch to lie on
And watch the show;
But did he know
Which channel to rely on?

VII
The evil spirit known as Rhea
Inhabits the blighted area
‘Twixt langue and paroles
Scarring ignorant souls,
And believes it is quite a career.

VIII
They say that the Lady Pramita
Would like you at once to go meet her
At one of her towers
Where saw-toothed flowers
On sunlit turrets gently wither.

IX
A bamboozled alien called Lav
Broke in through high heavens above,
Riding his space rickshaw
Like pieces of jigsaw
Sprayed out through the holes in a glove.

X
In time the vile Anonymous
Will sleep uneasy and dream us
Turn into mess
His fortresses
With lousy festoons and streamers.

If there need be a disclaimer (as we are sure there is), this is all part of D’s evil masterplan of world dominion. We are merely her indiscriminate WMD. No, don’t believe her claims of innocence.

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16 thoughts on “Rhyminal Crimes

  1. Ok, this is written for your friends i guess & i don’t know any of these guys (& ladies), so i can’t comment on the poem as such… but this is so nicely written, that i had to leave a comment anyway… GOOD WRITING!
    P.S-I will buy your book when you write it. :D
    P.P.S.-I wish i had a friend who could write such cute poems).
    P.P.P.S- Why are you not among my “facebook friends” any more? Add me back if you didn’t delete me in the first place. :P

    • Thank you! The Facebook thing’s been rectified, I believe. :)

      Limericks aren’t difficult to write. Go read up all of Edward Lear’s on Poemhunter or some such site, and by the time you finish you’ll see them coming naturally to you.

  2. Tiny but lethal WMD, well done. My turn to Spam.

    There was a girl called Deboleena
    Who like oddities for dinner
    She said, “Pasta’s nice
    and so are lice.
    But nothing beats a bowl of Spirulina.”

    There once was a boy called Somak
    Who’d go into a state of shock
    Every time he heard
    The cuckoo bird
    He said, “It’s so like a clock”

    There was an old man called Antonio,
    Who went about saying “hep, yo.”
    When begged to shut it
    He’d say “But it-
    Sounds so very hep, no?”

    So, there was this one Lav Kanoi
    Who could with ease annoy.
    On any day of week,
    In any matter of speak,
    He was sure to tire from “Ahoy!”

    (There are a few more, but you don’t know them peoples.)

    • Hahahaha! You weird and wonderful woman. When starved I shall eat your brain. With ketchup or no?

  3. Oh, and.

    I once knew a girl called Shreya.
    A nice little girl who said her prayers.
    But make a wrong move
    And she’d say, “Bitch, you’ve-
    messed with the wrong sort of playa.”

    • Yes this too. Poor Shreya will never salvage her reputation. Inevitable effect of spending too much time around us shady ladies.

  4. The Lady Pramita has been bowled over by your rhymes, Mandykins! Toogoodonly!

    Mental images of Lav in a space rickshaw made me roflmao.
    As did those of myself in a tower, watering saw-toothed flowers.

    • Change that to slowly dripping blood into the hungry mouths of saw-toothed flowers. Feel any better?

  5. This made my week, the most difficult one ever. Thank you.
    PS: i demand a signed copy of your book when you write one.

    • If I write one. Not very likely.

      This made your week the most difficult one ever? Um, I see. *backs off slowly*

    • That’s because it’s transferred to me. Pujo is going to be so awful without you around. Horrid bitch. :(

Express. Engage. Etcetera.

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