10

It amuses me to ¬†think in retrospect that the JNU English entrance was the first national-level competitive exam I have ever taken. (This hadn’t occured to me before/while I wrote the exam, or I’d have invariably got cold feet and refused to appear, not turned in the answer script or done something equally ludicrous.) Application procedures confuse and frighten me. For undergraduate the only college I had wanted to go to was in my home city (a fact I wasn’t entirely glad about), so I’d taken only that entrance. The BA entrance for JUDE is also¬†theoretically a national-level competitive exam but in reality few people outside the state actually take it, so maybe I had it easier. Every time I had changed schools I applied to only one school at a time, less for any real security or excess of confidence than the fact that I simply did not feel the rush. The complacence nurtures itself inside my head and grows. I have to eventually push myself out of this habit of applying to only one course at only one institution, because the next time I’m sure I won’t get through.

Hmm. I’m never any good at pushing myself out of anything.

14th was nice. Good books, class singing,¬†many chocolates, model Porsche (yay!), sketch that I just won’t say anything about, a beautiful evening sky over the city and most of the people I’d have liked to spend time with. It’s interesting how birthdays, anniversaries and such dates aren’t significant in themselves but for what you do with the excuse. I will think about this later and see if I can reach up to any (seemingly) profound conclusion. Not now. Tomorrow I go to the sea.